Nothing of this, to be sure, is in the mind of the Saint, but a long
remorse for this great sin, which he earnestly analyses. Nor is he so
penitent but that he is clear-sighted, and finds the spring of his mis-
doing in the Sense of Humour! "It was a delight and laughter which
tickled us, even at the very hart, to find that we were upon the point of
deceiving them who feared no such thing from us, and who, if they had
known it, would earnestly have procured the contrary."
Saint Augustine admits that he lived with a fast set, as people say
now--"the Depravers" or "Destroyers"; though he loved them little, "whose
actions I ever did abhor, that is, their Destruction of others, amongst
whom I yet lived with a kind of shameless bashfulness." In short, the
"Hell-Fire Club" of that day numbered a reluctant Saint among its
members! It was no Christian gospel, but the Hortensius of Cicero which
won him from this perilous society. "It altered my affection, and made
me address my prayers to Thee, O Lord, and gave me other desires and
purposes than I had before. All vain hopes did instantly grow base in
myne eyes, and I did, with an incredible heat of hart, aspire towards the
Immortality of Wisdom." Thus it was really "Saint Tully," and not the
mystic call of _Tolle_! _Lege_! that "converted" Augustine, diverting the
current of his life into the channel of Righteousness. "How was I
kindled then, oh, my God, with a desire to fly from earthly things
towards Thee.
Pages:
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165