He said the question of proper ventilation and sewerage for the
church would be brought up, and that he presumed the congregation had
noticed this morning that the church was unusually full of sewer gas. He
said he had spoken of the matter before, and expected it would be attended
to before this. He said he was a meek and humble follower of the lamb, and
was willing to cast his lot wherever the Master decided, but he would be
blessed if he would preach any longer in a church that smelled like a bone
boiling establishment. He said religion was a good thing, but no person
could enjoy religion as well in a fat rendering establishment as he could
in a flower garden, and as far as he was concerned he had got enough.
Everybody looked at everybody else, and Pa looked at Ma as though he knew
where the sewer gas came from, and Ma looked at Pa real mad, and me and my
chum lit out, and I went home and distributed my cheese all around. I put
a slice in Ma's bureau drawer, down under her underclothes, and a piece in
the spare room, under the bed, and a piece in the bath-room in the soap
dish, and a slice in the album on the parlor table, and a piece in the
library in a book, and I went to the dining room and put some under the
table, and dropped a piece under the range in the kitchen. I tell you the
house was loaded for bear.
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