Some of these fashion reporters think they are smart.
A LECTURER SHOULD KNOW WHAT HE TALKS ABOUT.
A man down east is lecturing on "Hell, Ingersoll, and Whisky." If the
lecturer is at all familiar with his subjects, we wouldn't believe him
under oath.
PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
HIS PA GOES CALLING.
"Say, you are getting too alfired smart," said the grocery man to the bad
boy as he pushed him into a corner by the molasses barrel, and took him by
the neck and choked him so his eyes stuck out. "You have driven away
several of my best customers, and now, confound you, I am going to have
your life," and he took up a cheese knife and began to sharpen it on his
boot.
"What's the--gurgle--matter?" asked the choking boy, as the grocery man's
finger let up on his throat a little, so he could speak. "I haint done
nothing."
"Didn't you hang up that gray torn cat by the heels, in front of my store,
with the rabbits I had for sale? I didn't notice it until the minister
called me out in front of the store, and pointing to the rabbits, asked
what good fat cats were selling for. By crimus, this thing has got to
stop. You have got to move out of this ward or I will."
The boy got his breath and said it wasn't him that put the cat up there.
He said it was the policeman, and he and his chum saw him do it, and he
just come in to tell the grocery man about it, and before he could speak
he had his neck nearly pulled off.
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