analyzed the ketchup and smelled of it and told Ma he would be all right
if he had a little Worcester sauce to put on with the ketchup, and when he
said Pa would pull through, Ma looked awful sad. Then Pa opened his eyes
and saw the minister and said that was one of the robbers that jumped on
him, and he wanted to whip the minister, but the doc. held Pa's arms and
Ma sat on his legs, and the minister said he had got some other calls to
make, and he wished Ma a happy new year in the hall, much as fifteen
minutes. His happy new year to Ma is most as long as his prayers. Well, we
got Pa to bed, and when we undressed him we found nine napkins in the
bosom of his vest, that he had picked up at the places where he had
called. He is all right this morning, but he says it is the last time he
will drink coffee when he makes New Years calls.
"Well, then you didn't have much fun yourself on New Years. That's too
bad," said the grocery man, as he looked at the sad eyed youth. "But you
look hard. If you were old enough I should say you had been drunk, your
eyes are red."
[Illustration: HAPPY NEW YEAR, MUM!]
"Didn't have any fun eh? Well, I wish I had as many dollars as I had fun.
You see, after Pa got to sleep Ma wanted me and my chum to go to the
houses that Pa had called at and return the napkins he had kleptomaniaced,
so we dressed up and went.
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