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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

We got him to
join the Good Templars last night."
"No, you don't tell me," said the grocery man, as he thought that
his trade in cider for mince pies would be cut off. "So you got him into
the Good Templars, eh?"
"Well, he thinks he has joined the Good Templars, so it is all the same.
You see my chum and me have been going to a private gymnasium, on the west
side, kept by a Dutchman, and in the back room he has all the tools for
getting up muscle. There, look at my arm," said the boy, as he rolled up
his sleeve and showed a muscle about as big as an oyster. "That is the
result of training at the gymnasium. Before I took lessons I hadn't any
more muscle than you have got. Well, the Dutchman was going to a dance on
the south side the other night, and he asked my chum to tend the
gymnasium, and I told Pa if he would join the Good Templars that night
there wouldn't be many at the lodge, and he wouldn't be so embarrassed,
and as I was one of the officers of the lodge I would put it to him light,
and he said he would go, so my chum got five other boys to help us put him
through. So we steered him down to the gymnasium and made him rap on the
storm door outside, and I said 'who comes there?' and he said it was a
pilgrim who wanted to jine our sublime order. I asked him if he had made
up his mind to turn from the ways of a hyena, and adopt the customs of the
truly good, and he said if he knew his own heart he had, and then I told
him to come in out of the snow and take off his pants.


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