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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

I could see he was
scared by the complexion of his hands and feet, as they clawed the air. He
actually sweat so the drops fell on the floor. Bime-by we let him down,
and he was awfully relieved though his feet were not more than two inches
from the floor any of the time. We were just going to slip Pa down a board
with slivers in to give him a realizing sense of the rough road a reformed
man has to travel, and got him straddle of the board, when the Dutchman
came home from the dance fullern a goose, and he drove us boys out, and we
left Pa, and the Dutchman said, 'Vot you vas doing here mit dose boys, you
old duffer, and vere vas your pants?' and Pa pulled off the handkerchief
from his eyes, and the Dutchman said if he didn't get out in a holy minute
he would kick the stuffing out of him, and Pa got out. He took his pants
and put them, on in the alley, and then we came up to Pa and told him that
was the third time the drunken Dutchman had broke up our lodge, but we
should keep on doing good until we had reformed every drunkard in
Milwaukee, and Pa said that was right, and he would see us through, if it
cost every dollar he had. Then we took him home, and when Ma asked if she
couldn't join the lodge, too, Pa said, 'Now you take my advice, and don't
you ever join no Good Templars.


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