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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"


"Divil the pain, except the loss of me tay cup," said she, "and kape yer
owld hands off me, for I am a dacent woman."
She shook herself in the car and got mud all over everybody, and finally
took her pail and jumped off at a crossing before arriving at the depot.
As the train came into the depot ten minutes late, and the conductor
jumped off, all mud from head to foot, as though he had been playing
spaniel and retrieving a wounded duck, Supt. Atkins looked at his clothes
and said, "Where in ---- have you been all the time?" The conductor took a
wisp of straw to wipe himself off, and as he threw it under a car he said
he had been in the artificial propagation of the human race. In fact he
had been engaged in the noble work of raising woman to a higher sphere. He
was allowed to go on probation and wash himself. The brakeman went down
there the next day and was fishing in the same hole. He said he didn't
know but there might be more woman in there, but they say he was after the
"tay cup."

NEARLY BROKE UP THE BALL.
A party of well meaning young people from Ripon nearly broke up a dance at
Hazen's cheese factory, out in the country a spell ago. The people around
there are quiet, sober country people, who confine themselves in dancing,
to plain quadrilles and country dances, with an occasional monnie musk, or
a plain waltz.


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