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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"


Of course, during a cold winter, when the thermometer was forty
or fifty degrees below zero, and everybody was blocked in, and coal was up
to seventeen dollars a ton, the cause of religion would not prosper as
much as it would in summer, because when you talked to a sinner about
leading a different life or he would go to the sun, he would look at his
coal pile and say that he didn't care a continental how soon he got there,
but these discouragements would not be any greater than some that the
truly good people have to contend with now, and the average the year round
would be largely in favor of going to the moon.
The moon is very popular now, even, and if it is properly advertised as a
celestial paradise, where only good people could get their work in, and
where the wicked could not enter on any terms, there would be a great
desire to take the straight and narrow way to the moon, and the path to
the wicked sun would be grown over with sand burs, and scorched with lava,
and few would care to take passage by that route. Anyway, this thing is
worth looking into.

PREPARING FOR WAR.
The _Sun_ is no alarmist, but it can see in recent events what it believes
to be a preparation for war. All of the manufactories of fire arms and
cartridges are working night and day, and the Oneida community have just
received an order to immediately can 24,000 cans of baked beans.


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