He raises up, brushes a particle of dust from his sleeve,
and with a silver knife cuts the hog from Dan to Beersheba, and the patent
insides are received on a silver salver, and divided among attendant
maidens. The inside of the hog is washed with bay rum, and sweet majorum
is put in. Then the hog is removed and cut up. The portions salted are
salted for keeps, and the hams and bacon are smoked in a room filled with
incense, and when the smoked meat comes out it is good enough for a king,
or a queen, or a Milwaukee editor. Lie, indeed! We should like to see
ourselves lying for one hog.
AN ARM THAT IS NOT RELIABLE.
A young fellow about nineteen, who is going with his first girl, and who
lives on the West Side, has got the symptoms awfully. He just thinks of
nothing else but his girl, and when he can be with her,--which is seldom,
on account of the old folks.--he is there, and when he cannot be there, he
is there or thereabouts, in his mind. He had been trying for three months
to think of something to give his girl for a Christmas present, but he
couldn't make up his mind what article would cause her to think of him the
most, so the day before Christmas he unbosomed himself to his employer,
and asked his advice as to the proper article to give. The old man is
bald-headed and mean.
Pages:
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183