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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

He came up to Ma's room, and sounded Ma as to
whether Hennery had retired to his virtuous couch. Pa is awful sarcastic
when he tries to be. I could hear him take off his clothes, and hear him
say, as he picked up a trunk strap, 'I guess I will go up to his room and
watch the smile on his face, as he dreams of angels. I yearn to press him
to my aching bosom.' I thought to myself, mebbe you won't yearn so much
directly. He come up stairs, and I could hear him breathing hard. I looked
around the corner and could see he just had on his shirt and pants, and
his suspenders were hanging down, and his bald head shown like a calcium
light just before it explodes. Pa went into my room, and up to the bed,
and I could hear him say, 'Come out here and bring in that kindling wood
or I will start a fire on your base burner with this strap.' And then
there was a yowling such as I never heard before, and Pa said,
'Helen Blazes,' and the furniture in my room began to fall around and
break. O, _my_! I think Pa took the torn cat right by the neck, the way he
does me, and that left the cat's feet free to get in their work. By the
way the cat squawled as though it was being choked I know Pa had him by
the neck. I suppose the cat thought Pa was a whole flock of New Foundland
dogs, and the cat had a record on dogs, and it kicked awful.


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