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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

On the way over he thought she resembled a girl that used to
live in Portage. He went up to her, and with a smile that was childlike
and bland, he said, "Why, how are you, Samantha?" The little blonde looked
daggers at him. "Didn't you use to wait on tables there at the Fox House,
at Portage?" The girl picked up a roll of paper cambric, and was about to
brain him, when the floor walker came along, and asked what was the
matter. Cash explained that since he came into the store, three or four
girls had yelled to him, and he couldn't place them. "There," says he, as
another girl yelled "Cash," "there's another of 'em wants me," and he was
going to where she was, when the floor walker asked him if his name was
Cash. "You bet your liver it is," said Cash. It was then explained to him
that the girls were calling cash boys. He thought it over a minute and
said, "Sold, by the great baldheaded Elijah. Won't you go down and take
something? Invite all of them. The girls can take soda. I'll be gaul
blasted if I ever had such a rig played on me." And he went out into the
glare of the sunlight, with his hat pulled down over his eyes, and just
then the circus procession came along, and he followed off the elephants.
There are lots of worse men than Cash.

TO WHAT VILE USES MAY WE COME.


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