When every room is provided with rope ladders there will be lots of
fun. Those men who invariably blow out the gas, will probably think they
have got to come down stairs on the rope ladder in the morning, and it
will take an extra clerk to stand in the alleys around a hotel, with a
shot gun, to keep impecunious guests from going away from the tavern via
rope ladder. And then imagine an Oshkosh man in a Milwaukee hotel, his
head full of big schemes, and his skin full of beer. He has been on a
"bum," and is nervous, and on being shown to his room he sees the rope
ladder coiled up under the window, ready to spring upon him. He stares at
it, and the cold sweat stands all over him. The rope ladder returns his
gaze, and seems to move and to crawl towards his feet. For a moment he is
powerless to move. His hair stands on end, his heart ceases to beat, cold
and warm chills follow each other down his trousers legs and he clutches
at the air, his eyes start from their sockets, and just as the rope ladder
is about to wind around him, and crush his life out, he regains strength
enough to rush down stairs head over appetite, and tell the clerk about
the menagerie up stairs. O, there is going to be fun with these rope
ladders, sure.
A DOCTOR OF LAWS.
A doctor at Ashland is also a Justice of the Peace, and when he is called
to visit a house he don't know whether he is to physic or to marry.
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