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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

They got it on to
him by buying crushed stone of him and paying cash for it.
We have never heard whether the man lived or not, and have never heard
whether the city bought any stone of him, but the city got rid of it, and
then had a celebration. Why, they figured it up, and the thing could crush
enough stone in twenty-four hours to pave the streets a foot thick all
over town and thirteen miles in the country. To run it a week would
bankrupt the State of Wisconsin, It could go up to the stone quarry and
tunnel a hole right through the hill. It was the biggest elephant that
ever a city drew in a legalized lottery. Milwaukee will make money if she
does not buy a stone crusher, not as long as it can buy stone in the
rough, and have it crushed by tramps, at nothing a day.

MERRIE CHRISTMAS.
What proportion of the people who wish each other merry Christmas, do you
suppose think of the reason that the day is a holiday? Not one in a
thousand. Do the young fellows who put on a clean shirt and go down town
and play pool all day, and drink yellow stuff out of a shaving cup, and
get chalk on their fingers, and eat liver sausage, think that Christ died
to save them? No! All they think of is the prospect of sticking some other
fellow for the game. Do the hundreds of thousands of people who get up a
big feed, and gormandize, think of Christ, or the poor all about them who
have little to eat to-day, and little prospect of more to eat to-morrow?
Many of them do not think of the poor, or of anything else except to
prospect upon how much they will hold and not get sick.


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