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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"

If I had waited till I could heat water to
the right temperature I would have been an orphan and Pa would have been a
burnt offering. But some men always kick at everything. Pa has given up
business entirely and says he shall devote the remainder of his life
curing himself of the different troubles that I get him into. He has
retained a doctor by the year, and he buys liniment by the gallon.
"What was it about your folks getting up in the middle of the night to
eat? The hired girl was over here after some soap the other morning, and
she said she was going to leave your house."
"Well, that was a picnic. Pa said he wanted breakfast earlier than we was
in the habit of having it, and he said I might see to it that the house
was awake early enough. The other night I awoke with the awfulest pain you
ever heard of. It was that night that you give me and my chum the
bottle of pickled oysters that had begun to work. Well, I could't sleep,
and I thought I would call the hired girls, and they got up and got
breakfast to going, and then I rapped on Pa's and Ma's door and told them
the breakfast was getting cold, and they got up and came down. We ate
breakfast by gas light, and Pa yawned and said it made a man feel good to
get up and get ready for work before daylight, the way he used to on the
farm, and Ma she yawned and agreed with Pa, 'cause she has to, or have a
row.


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