I'll tell you how it was. I was married a
couple of days ago, and night before last I put up at a Dubuque hotel. My
wife never had been married before any at all, and she is timid, and
thinks everybody is watching us, and making fun of us! She jumps at the
slightest sound.
"Well, we went to our room in the afternoon, and she began to cry, and
said if she wasn't married she never would be the longest day she
lived. I sort of put my arm around her, and was just telling her that
everybody had to get married, when there was a knock on the door, and she
jumped more than thirty feet.
"You see that finger. Well, a pin in her belt stuck clear through, and
came near making me faint away. I held my finger in my mouth, and telling
her the house was not on fire, I went to the door and there was a porter
there who wanted to know if I wanted any more coal on the fire. I drove
him away, and sat down in a big rocking chair with my wife in my lap, and
was stroking her hair and telling her that if she would forgive me for
marrying I never would do so again, and trying to make her feel more at
home, when there came another knock at the door, and she jumped clear
across the room and knocked over a water pitcher.
"This seal ring on my finger caught in her frizzes and I'll be cussed if
the whole top of her head didn't come off.
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