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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"


It is a dead loss to this country of millions of dollars every time there
is a prediction that the world will come to an end, because there are lots
of men who quit business weeks beforehand and do not try to earn a living
but go lunching around. We lost over fifteen dollars' worth of advertising
last week from people who thought if the thing was going up the flue on
Sunday there was no use of advertising any more, and we refused twenty
dollars' worth more because we thought if that was the last paper we were
going to get out we might as knock off work Friday and Saturday and go and
catch a string of perch. The people have been fooled about this thing
enough, and the first man that comes around with any more predictions
ought to be arrested.
People have got enough to worry about, paying taxes, and buying
strawberries and sugar, to can, without feeling that if they get a tax
receipt the money will be a dead loss, or if they put up a cellar full of
canned fruit the world will tip over on it and break every jar and bust
every tin can.
Hereafter we propose to go right along as though the world was going to
stay right side up, have our hair cut, and try and behave, and then if old
mother earth shoots off into space without any warning we will take our
chances with the rest in catching on to the corner of some passing star
and throw our leg over and get acquainted with the people there, and maybe
start a funny paper and split the star wide open.


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