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Peck, George W., 1840-1916

"Peck's Compendium of Fun"


So we compel our guardians of the peace to go around assassinating dogs.
Men, who as citizens, would cut their hands off before they would injure a
neighbor's property, or speak harsh to his dog, when they hire out to the
city must stifle all feelings of humanity, and descend to the level of
Paris scavengers. We compel them to do this. If they would get on their
ears and say to the city of Milwaukee, "We will guard your city, and
protect you from insult, and die for you if it becomes necessary; but we
will see you in hades before we go around assassinating dogs," we as
people, would think more of them, and perhaps build them a decent station
house to rest in.

A HOT BOX AT A PICNIC.
An Oshkosh young man started for a picnic in a buggy with two girls, and
when they got half way they got a hot box to the hind wheel of the buggy,
and they remained there all the afternoon pouring water on the wheel,
missing the picnic. There is nothing that will cause a hot box in a buggy
so quick as going to a picnic with girls. Particularly is this the case
when one has two girls. No young man should ever take two girls to a
picnic. He may think one cannot have too much of a good thing, and that he
holds over the most of the boys who have only one girl, but before the
picnic is over he will note the look of satisfaction on the faces of the
other boys as they stray off in the vernal shade, and he will look around
at his two girls as though his stomach was overloaded.


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