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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"

His Imperial
Majesty has decided to stop the war with the United
States."
I bowed.
"He intends to send over a secret treaty of the same
nature as the one recently made with his recent Highness
the recent Czar of Russia. Under this treaty Germany
proposes to give to the United States the whole of
equatorial Africa and in return the United States is to
give to Germany the whole of China. There are other
provisions, but I need not trouble you with them. Your
mission relates, not to the actual treaty, but to the
preparation of the ground."
I bowed again.
"You are aware, I presume," continued the Baron, "that
in all high international dealings, at least in Europe,
the ground has to be prepared. A hundred threads must be
unravelled. This the Imperial Government itself cannot
stoop to do. The work must be done by agents like yourself.
You understand all this already, no doubt?"
I indicated my assent.
"These, then, are your instructions," said the Baron,
speaking slowly and distinctly, as if to impress his
words upon my memory. "On your arrival in the United
States you will follow the accredited methods that are
known to be used by all the best Spies of the highest
diplomacy.


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