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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"

"
The Authority looked all round us in that searching way
he had. We all tried to look like men seeing a fantasmus
and disgusted at it.
"So you see," he went on, "Mittel-Europa is done with."
"I suppose it is," I said. I didn't know just whether to
speak with regret or not. I heard Rapley murmur, "I guess
so."
"And there is not a doubt," continued the Authority, "that
when Mittel-Europa goes, Grossdeutschthum goes with it."
"Oh, sure to," we all murmured.
"Well, then, there you are--what is the result for Germany
--why the thing's as plain as a pikestaff--in fact you're
driven to it by the sheer logic of the situation--there
is only _one_ outcome--"
The Authority was speaking very deliberately. He even
paused at this point and lighted a cigarette, while we
all listened breathlessly. We felt that we had got the
thing to a focus at last.
"Only one outcome--a Staatenbund."
"Great heavens," I said, "not a Staatenbund!"
"Undoubtedly," said the Authority, puffing quietly at
his cigarette, as if personally he wouldn't lift a finger
to stop the Staatenbund if he could, "that's the end of
it, a Staatenbund. In other words, we are back where we
were before the Vienna Congress!"
At this he chuckled heartily to himself: so the rest of
us laughed too: the thing was _too_ absurd.


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