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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"


"Why, really--" I began. But I was interrupted by a sudden
exclamation from both the Cave-man and the Cave-woman
together:
"Willie! where's Willie!"
"Gracious!" cried the woman. "He's wandered out alone--oh,
hurry, look for him! Something might get him! He may have
fallen in the water! Oh, hurry!"
They were off in a moment, shouting into the dark passages
of the outer cave: "Willie! Willie!" There was agonized
anxiety in their voices.
And then in a moment, as it seemed, they were back again,
with Willie in their arms, blubbering, his rabbit-skin
all wet.
"Goodness gracious!" said the Cave-woman. "He'd fallen
right in, the poor little man. Hurry, dear, and get
something dry to wrap him in! Goodness, what a fright!
Quick, darling, give me something to rub him with."
Anxiously the Cave-parents moved about beside the child,
all quarrel vanished.
"But surely," I said, as they calmed down a little, "just
there where Willie fell in, beside the passage that I
came through, there is only three inches of water."
"So there is," they said, both together, "but just suppose
it had been three feet!"
Later on, when Willie was restored, they both renewed
their invitation to me to stay to dinner.


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