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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"

"
"Loafing!" he said indignantly. "I'm not loafing. I'm
putting in a half summer course in Introspection. That's
why I'm here. I get credit for two majors for my time
here."
"Ah," I said, as gently as I could, "you get credit here."
He left me. I am still pondering over our new education.
Meantime I think I shall enter my little boy's name on
the books of Tuskegee College where the education is
still old-fashioned.


X. The Errors of Santa Claus

It was Christmas Eve.
The Browns, who lived in the adjoining house, had been
dining with the Joneses.
Brown and Jones were sitting over wine and walnuts at
the table. The others had gone upstairs.
"What are you giving to your boy for Christmas?" asked
Brown.
"A train," said Jones, "new kind of thing--automatic."
"Let's have a look at it," said Brown.
Jones fetched a parcel from the sideboard and began
unwrapping it.
"Ingenious thing, isn't it?" he said. "Goes on its own
rails. Queer how kids love to play with trains, isn't it?"
"Yes," assented Brown. "How are the rails fixed?"
"Wait, I'll show you," said Jones. "Just help me to shove
these dinner things aside and roll back the cloth. There!
See! You lay the rails like that and fasten them at the
ends, so--"
"Oh, yes, I catch on, makes a grade, doesn't it? Just
the thing to amuse a child, isn't it? I got Willy a toy
aeroplane.


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