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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"

On the other hand if he
begins in the autumn he is again too late; he has missed
this summer's crop. It is, therefore, ridiculous to begin
in the autumn and impossible to begin in the spring.
This was our first difficulty. But the second arose from
the question of the soil itself. All the books and
instructions insist that the selection of the soil is
the most important part of gardening. No doubt it is.
But, if a man has already selected his own backyard before
he opens the book, what remedy is there? All the books
lay stress on the need of "a deep, friable loam full of
nitrogen." This I have never seen. My own plot of land
I found on examination to contain nothing but earth. I
could see no trace of nitrogen. I do not deny the existence
of loam. There may be such a thing. But I am admitting
now in all humility of mind that I don't know what loam
is. Last spring my fellow gardeners and I all talked
freely of the desirability of "a loam." My own opinion
is that none of them had any clearer ideas about it than
I had. Speaking from experience, I should say that the
only soils are earth, mud and dirt. There are no others.
But I leave out the soil. In any case we were mostly
forced to disregard it.


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