Either that or
give them to the hens. I certainly won't eat the rotten
things myself.
XV. The Perplexity Column as Done by the Jaded Journalist
INSTANTANEOUS ANSWERS TO ALL QUESTIONS
(All questions written out legibly with the name and
address of the sender and accompanied by one dollar,
answered immediately and without charge.)
Harvard Student asks:
Can you tell me the date at which, or on which, Oliver
Cromwell's father died?
Answer: No, I can't.
Student of Mathematics asks:
Will you kindly settle a matter involving a wager between
myself and a friend? A. bet B. that a pedestrian in
walking downhill over a given space and alternately
stepping with either foot, covers more ground than a man
coasting over the same road on a bicycle. Which of us
wins?
Answer: I don't understand the question, and I don't know
which of you is A.
Chess-player asks:
Is the Knight's gambit recognized now as a permissible
opening in chess?
Answer: I don't play chess.
Reuben Boob asks:
For some time past I have been calling upon a young lady
friend at her house evenings and going out with her to
friends' nights. I should like to know if it would be
all right to ask to take her alone with me to the theatre?
Answer: Certainly not.
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