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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Frenzied Fiction"

On the south, where the soil is more fertile and
where the land begins to be worth occupying, the Sanjak
is, or will be, bounded by the British Empire.


XVI. Simple Stories of Success, or How to Succeed in Life
Let me begin with a sort of parable. Many years ago when
I was on the staff of a great public school, we engaged
a new swimming master.
He was the most successful man in that capacity that we
had had for years.
Then one day it was discovered that he couldn't swim.
He was standing at the edge of the swimming tank explaining
the breast stroke to the boys in the water.
He lost his balance and fell in. He was drowned.
Or no, he wasn't drowned, I remember,--he was rescued by
some of the pupils whom he had taught to swim.
After he was resuscitated by the boys--it was one of the
things he had taught them--the school dismissed him.
Then some of the boys who were sorry for him taught him
how to swim, and he got a new job as a swimming master
in another place.
But this time he was an utter failure. He swam well, but
they said he couldn't _teach_.
So his friends looked about to get him a new job. This
was just at the time when the bicycle craze came in.


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