We saw him dead. My own hand
surrendered him to the grave; yet we are alive. But it is past. I will
not conceal from you that life is a burden, which, heavy as it is, we
shall both support, if not with dignity, at least with decency and
firmness. Theodosia has endured all that a human being could endure;
but her admirable mind will triumph. She supports herself in a manner
worthy of your daughter.
We have not yet been able to form any definite plan of life. My
present wish is that Theodosia should join you, with or without me, as
soon as possible. My command here, as brigadier-general, embarrasses
me a good deal in the disposal of _myself._ I would part with
Theodosia reluctantly; but if I find myself detained here, I shall
certainly do so. I not only recognise your claim to her after such a
separation, but change of scene and your society will aid her, I am
conscious, in recovering at least that tone of mind which we are
destined to carry through life with us.
I have great anxiety to be employed against Quebec, should an army be
ordered thither, and have letters prepared asking of the president a
brigade in that army. From the support which that request will have,
if not obtained now, I doubt not it will be at the first increase of
the military force, which, if the war be seriously carried on, must be
as soon as Congress meet. Then, be the event what it may, I shall at
least gain something.
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