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Locke, William John, 1863-1930

"Simon the Jester"

She was the woman between us--you and me. You
don't suppose I ceased to care for you just because what we thought was
a fatal illness broke off our engagement! I did care for you. I cared
for you--in a way; I say 'in a way'--I'll tell you why later on. When we
met here the last time do you think I was not moved? I knew your altered
position would not allow you to suggest a renewal of the engagement so
I offered you the opportunity. Do you remember? But I could not tell
whether you still cared for me or whether you cared for the other woman.
So I had to go and see her. I couldn't bear to think that you might feel
in honour bound to take me at my word and be caring all the time for
some one else. I went to see her, and then I realised that I didn't
count. Don't ask why. Women know these things. And I found that she
loved you with a warmth and richness I'm incapable of. I felt I had
stepped into something big and splendid, as if I had been a caterpillar
walking into the heart of a red rose. I felt prim and small and petty.


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