I bowed my head and laid the back of her cool hand
against it, and groaned out my remorse. If I had not been there! If
I had not distracted her attention! She would not listen to my
self-reproach. It had nothing to do with me. She had simply missed her
grip and lost her head. She forbade me to mention the subject again. The
misery of thinking that I held myself to blame was unbearable. I said no
more, realising the acute distress of her generous soul, but in my heart
I made a deep vow of reparation.
It was, however, with no such chivalrous feelings, but out of the simple
longing to fulfil my life that I asked her definitely, for the first
time, to marry me as soon as she could get about the world again. I put
before her with what delicacy I could that if she had foolish ideas of
my being above her in station, she was above me in worldly fortune, and
thus we both had to make some sacrifices to our pride. I said that my
work was found--that our lives could be regulated as she wished.
She listened, without saying a word, until I had finished.
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