Peck, George W., 1840-1916 / 2008-07-23 00:00:00
Pa held one side of the hymn book and Ma held the other, and
Pa he always sings for all that is out, and when he braced himself and
sang 'Just as I am,' Ma thought Pa's voice was tinctured a little with
biliousness, and she looked at him and hunched him, and told him to stop
singing and breathe through his nose, cause his breath was enough to stop
a clock. Pa stopped singing and turned around kind of cross towards Ma,
and then he smelled Ma's cheese and he turned his head the other way and
said, 'whew,' and they didn't sing any more, but they looked at each other
as though they smelled frowy. When they sat down they sat as far apart as
they could get, and Pa sat next to a woman who used to be a nurse in a
hospital, and when she smelled Pa's cheese she looked at him as though she
thought he had the small pox, and she held her handkerchief to her nose.
The man in the other end of the pew, that Ma sat near, he was a stranger
from Racine, who belongs to our church, and he looked at Ma sort of queer,
and after the minister prayed, and they got up to sing again, the man took
his hat and went out, and when he came by me he said something in a
whisper about a female glue factory.
[Illustration: "JUST AS I AM."]
"Well, sir, before the sermon was over everybody in that part of the
church had their handkerchiefs to their noses, and they looked at Pa and
Ma scandalous, and the two ushers they came around in the pews looking for
a dog, and when the minister got over his sermon, and wiped the
prespiration off his face, he said he would like to have the trustees of
the church stay after meeting, as there was some business of importance to
transact.
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